Chances are that if you’re reading this, you’ve been linked from someplace which isn’t a feminist website, and you’ve probably been told that this blog post posits OMG ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS.
That is because you were linked to this website by somebody who cannot read.
“Rape-supporter” may, but usually does not, equal “rapist.” A rape-supporter is somebody whose actions lend support to a culture in which rape is ubiquitous. This post is about how many “feminist-allied” men seem to believe that there are bad men who commit rape and every other guy has no responsibility in the creation and maintenance of a culture which defends sexual assault (against women in this context, specifically, but also in a broader sense).
Every time a man tells a rape joke, he is participating in and adding to a global ideology which states that sexual violence (and sexualizing violence) is normal, biological, acceptable, funny, or not that big of a deal. Every time a man hears a rape joke and says nothing, he is complicit – he is lending support to that culture.
You are not just a recipient of culture handed down from some unseen and unknown entity. You create and affect culture, daily, through your individual actions. Men who commit the actions on this list do not get a free pass as “not responsible” simply because they have never committed acts which fit the legal definition of rape. Every single item on this list contributes; for some the connection is painfully obvious, others perhaps less so depending on how much you’ve thought about the role of sexism in our society. A man cannot legitimately call himself “anti-rape” and still engage in actions which support rape.
The original post follows.
This is a handy guide for women who involve themselves with men. I’ve recently received a bunch of comments from men who say that they aren’t rape supporters because they (1) have never “raped” a woman and/or (2) are gay. If you are around a man who claims to be anti-rape, see how he stacks up.
A man is a rape-supporter if…
- He has ever sexually engaged with any woman while she was underage, drunk, high, physically restrained, unconscious, or subjected to psychological, physical, economic, or emotional coercion.
- He defends the current legal definition of rape and/or opposes making consent a defense.
- He has accused a rape victim of having “buyer’s remorse” or wanting to get money from the man.
- He has blamed a woman for “putting herself in a situation” where she “could be” attacked.
- He has procured a prostitute.
- He characterizes prostitution as a “legitimate” “job” “choice” or defends men who purchase prostitutes.
- He has ever revealed he conceives of sex as fundamentally transactional.
- He has gone to a strip club.
- He is anti-abortion.
- He is pro-“choice” because he believes abortion access will make women more sexually available.
- He frames discussions of pornography in terms of “freedom of speech.”
- He watches pornography in which women are depicted.
- He watches any pornography in which sexual acts are depicted as a struggle for power or domination, regardless of whether women are present.
- He characterizes the self-sexualizing behavior of some women, such as wearing make-up or high heels, as evidence of women’s desire to “get” a man.
- He tells or laughs at jokes involving women being attacked, sexually “hoodwinked,” or sexually harassed.
- He expresses enjoyment of movies/musicals/TV shows/plays in which women are sexually demeaned or presented as sexual objects
- He mocks women who complain about sexual attacks, sexual harassment, street cat-calls, media depictions of women, or other forms of sexual objectification.
- He supports sexual “liberation” and claims women would have more sex with (more) men if society did not “inhibit” them.
- He states or implies that women who do not want to have sex with men are “inhibited,” “prudes,” “stuck-up,” “man-haters,” or psychologically ill.
- He argues that certain male behaviors towards women are “cultural” and therefore not legitimate subjects of feminist attention.
- He ever subordinates the interests of women in a given population to the interests of the men in that population, or proceeds in discussions as if the interests of the women are the same as the interests of the men.
- He promotes religious or philosophical views in which a woman’s physical/psychological/emotional/sexual well-being is subordinated to a man’s.
- He describes female anatomy in terms of penetration, or uses terms referencing the supposed “emptiness” of female anatomy when describing women.
- He defends the physical abuse of women on the grounds of “consent.”
- He defends the sexualization or sexual abuse of minor females on the grounds of “consent” or “willingness.”
- He promotes the idea that women as a class are happier or more fulfilled if they have children, or that they “should” have children.
- He argues that people (or just “men”) have sexual “needs.”
- He discusses the “types” of women he finds sexually appealing and/or attempts to demean women by telling them he does not find them sexually appealing.
- He sexually objectifies lesbians or lesbian sexual activity.
- He defends these actions by saying that some women also engage in them.
So, let’s see how many women reading this know at least one male over the age of 18 who does not fit this list. Anybody?